dan avatar

Conspiracy Dave: Greetings, Internet

Hel- Hello? Hello? Can you see my words, Internet? Are you sitting down, my fellow human beings? You should be sitting down. But not on the couch. Avoid your couches at all cost. They have tired of being force fed our loose change and are plotting against us. Couches do not eat coins. They prefer…

mystery hole

Report From Siberia: Obey the Holes

Three mysterious gapping holes have appeared in Siberia, leaving scientists confused about their origins. But a new report shows that these holes are… are… our friends. Yes. And we like our friends. We love our friends. We love those holes. We must obey the holes. The holes are good people and they only want what’s…

silhouette with a question mark

Name’s Racial. Biracial.

Okay, so, let me know if you find the following scene rather absurd: – Sam Watson enters the hotel room as three armed bodyguards try to stare him into submission. But their icy glares fail to coax even a drop of sweat out of the spy. The preparation behind this moment took months. And with the target-…

lucy

Movie Review for Tinsel & Tine: LUCY

Ready for Scarlett Johansson to perform “Through the Wormhole”-esq feats with Morgan Freeman conveniently there to explain it all? I wrote a review for the new movie “Lucy”. Check it out at the link below. Tinsel & Tine (Reel & Dine): SambWrite Blog Contributor: LUCY.

elizabeth gilbert ted talk

Elizabeth Gilbert on Creative Genius

Short post today. I recently sat down again to listen to a TED Talk given by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. She talks about the creative process, how writers deal with inspiration and toughing it out when that creative spark just doesn’t seem to light. This is my absolute favorite TED Talk and I…

IMG_5803edit

Blobfest 2014

“Nothing can stop it!” screams a nurse just after she pours acid all over the Blob, as if every other option to destroy the parasitic alien jello had been exhausted. Well, after another year gone by, it’s been pretty much proven that nothing can stop Blobfest, either. This festival, dedicated to the 1950s movie, The Blob, is…

racoon

An Open Letter to the Raccoon I Ran Over Last night

Dear Raccoon, I do hope that raccoon-heaven has a post office. Or raccoon-hell. I’m not sure where you are. I only know that the post office must surely be dead by now, right? Anyway, I don’t know what type of raccoon you were before we crossed paths last night. Maybe you never pestered or harmed…

methin

I Killed Big Sam, and He Had It Coming

I killed a man once. Believe me, though. He had it coming. He struggled- like any man would if he were about to lose his life. But, I did it without compassion, without remorse, and with a great focus that he inevitably realized there was no escape from. Yup. I killed Big Sam, and he…

sweaty

An Open Letter to Sweaty People

Dear Sweaty People, This just isn’t your time of year, is it? Sure, during the cooler seasons, your kind is able to walk amongst the rest of humanity in secret, but the hot months we now occupy easily expose your identities. It’s not easy being a walking swimming pool. Your clothes are so soaked with…

24poster

24: Live Another Day: Pee Break #5

  The most important person in the country- well, certainly the angriest man in any room- Jack Bauer is back! That’s right! Avoid using words like “weaponize” and “boom” in your Google searches, because everyone’s favorite anti-terrorist agent has fought his way back to TV in “24: Live Another Day“. “24” infiltrated it’s way into…